[G]I read the [Hmi]news today, oh [Emi]boy, 
[C]about a [Emi]lucky man who [Ami]made the grade [Cmaj7]      
[G]And thought the [Hmi]news were rather [Emi]sad, 
[C]well I just [F]had to [Emi]laugh         
               
   [C]I saw the [F]photo[Emi]graph [Cmaj7]        

[G]He blew his [Hmi]mind out in a [Emi]car, 
[C]he didn't [Emi]notice that the [Ami]lights had changed [Cmaj7]      
[G]A crowd of [Hmi]people stood and [Emi]stared, 
[C]they'd seen his [F]face be[Emi]fore

   [Emi]Nobody was really sure if he was from the [C]House of Lords

[G]I saw a [Hmi]film today, oh [Emi]boy, 
[C]the English [Emi]army had just [Ami]won the war[Cmaj7]       
[G]A crowd of [Hmi]people turned a[Emi]way, 
[C]but I just [F]had to [Emi]look
            
   [Emi]Having read the [C]book                             
   I'd love to [Hmi]turn .... [G]you .... [E]on ....   

                                                    
[E]Wake up, fell out of bed, 
dragged a combed across my [D]head
                                                             
Found my [E]way downstairs and [Fismi7]drank a cup, 
and [E]looking up I [Fismi7]noticed I was late
                                                            
   [E]Grabbed my coat, and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds [D]flat
                                                               
Found my [E]way upstairs and [Fismi7]had a smoke, 
and [E]somebody spoke and I [Fismi7]went into a dream

[C]Ahhhhh...[G][D][A][C]Ahhhhh...[G]      [D]       [A]                         

                                                  
[G]I read the [Hmi]news today, oh [Emi]boy, 
[C]four thousand [Emi]holes in Blackburn [Ami]Lacanshire [Cmaj7]      
                                              
[G]And though the [Hmi]holes were rather [Emi]small, [C]they had [F]to count them all
                                                       
[Emi]Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the [C]Albert Hall
                          
   I'd love to [Hmi]turn .... [G]you .... on [E]....